Obviously along with impending doom, being trussed up with a wig and gown does wonders for one's mood in this weather. Add to that a healthy paunch, a large pile of briefs and a variety of hills and one quickly has either a 'bead-on' or a damp undercarriage. Nobody likes damp briefs...
When the air conditioning cuts out in the middle of a Crown Court trial - that's a week long fraud trial by the way - one's mood is obviously improved. Maybe Jack Straw forgot to feed the meter before he left? Ken Clarke obviously doesn't have any loose change.
Perhaps on Fridays the Bar could have a dress down policy? I quite fancy robustly cross-examining a copper whilst dressed in Bermuda shorts and flip-flops. Equally, to improve discipline they could make it like school e.g. If you forget your wig and gown you have to give your closing speech in your Y-fronts.
Anyway, fraud trials are like sticking pins in your eyes at the best of times. Looking like I have a sponge srapped under my armpits which is soaking through my shirt surely can only add to the excitement the jury are experiencing. With awesome foresight I only have a selection of pastel coloured tunic shirts clean at the moment as well. Hmm, light blue with royal blue sweat patches today or light purple with mauve patches?
If I can't be bothered cross-examining the defendant tomorrow I think I'll just unbutton my jacket. That'll teach him to run a trial.
When the air conditioning cuts out in the middle of a Crown Court trial - that's a week long fraud trial by the way - one's mood is obviously improved. Maybe Jack Straw forgot to feed the meter before he left? Ken Clarke obviously doesn't have any loose change.
Perhaps on Fridays the Bar could have a dress down policy? I quite fancy robustly cross-examining a copper whilst dressed in Bermuda shorts and flip-flops. Equally, to improve discipline they could make it like school e.g. If you forget your wig and gown you have to give your closing speech in your Y-fronts.
Anyway, fraud trials are like sticking pins in your eyes at the best of times. Looking like I have a sponge srapped under my armpits which is soaking through my shirt surely can only add to the excitement the jury are experiencing. With awesome foresight I only have a selection of pastel coloured tunic shirts clean at the moment as well. Hmm, light blue with royal blue sweat patches today or light purple with mauve patches?
If I can't be bothered cross-examining the defendant tomorrow I think I'll just unbutton my jacket. That'll teach him to run a trial.
PS - BBB thinks Ken Clarke could be the 'Susan Boyle' style 'big-personality' the Criminal Bar can embrace to drive up morale.
His plans include a new series called 'MoJ's Got Talent'. It used to be called 'The Lord Chancellor's Department Has Got Talent' but Charlie Falconer thought the title was a little cumbersome.
Previous winners include Vera Baird QC pole-dancing and Willy Bach eating twelve scotch-eggs in one sitting.
The new-series of 'The LSC Has Got Talent' has been cancelled. Repeats of Eldorado will now be shown instead.
(BBB has been on a rare holiday hence the gap in posting)
I thought Willy Bach was a vegetarian..?
ReplyDeleteReally?! The irony. In fairness, I always thought Vera Baird QC was a woman..
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ReplyDeletehttp://legalambition.blogspot.com/2010/06/bpe.html